"I’ll spread the news/ shoutin’ from the rooftops/ whisper clues/ all with a smile/ share my views/ certain that it’s all worthwhile/ ……….change your mind (BNC)"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"can't use "trying to win you over" again...need fresh meat for this section! I do like "chase my tail, wink and smile, ...cool visuals!"
(more)"I’ll chase my tail/tryin’ to win you over (BNC)/and speak my peace/with a wink and a smile/shake my head/or just let the whole thing slide/ [ Cause I’m never gonna change your mind (BNC) ]. Line 3 verse 4 PatricaA’s line: But sometimes when the facts shine (are) clear/"
"Remember when we'd laugh and play?/ Remember how I looked at you?/ although your ship is underway/I want to hear your point of view/"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"well...the first line that is! and the second line is close...."
(more)"Remember when we'd laugh and play?/ Remember how I looked at you?/ although your ship is underway/I want to hear your point of view/"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"we already used the center or middle of the heart...so the target idea may be done...but love "lead you to the other side""
(more)"I could state my case/ hit the center of the target/ Jump online/ friendship denied/ But all I want/ is to lead you to the other side/ If I’m ever gonna change your mind/ (1 & 7 BNC, 6 BNC/mwriley2)"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"lots of good stuff in this! talk about the weather seems not as strong...
LOVE "let is all slide"!!
And "all I want to show you is the other side" might work....it's a lot to digest...so not sure...but trying on for size!
"if you could only open to the other side"?
still I'm not a fan of leaving it vague...
the other side of what? "
"(1) Well I could state my case (BNC)/ (2) or talk about the weather/ (3) Tell you to your face (BNC)/ (4) or let it all slide/ (5) All I want/ (6) is to show there is another side/ (6 alt) is to lead you to the other side (mwriley2 & BNC)/ (7) If I’m ever gonna change your mind (BNC)"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"LOVE letting it slide! Time and case need to rhyme...and....other side of what?"
(more)"Well I could waste your time/ talking ‘bout the weather/ dragging this out/ letting it slide/ Or state my case/ (BNC) and lead you to the other side/ (mwriley2 & BNC) If I’m ever gonna change your mind (BNC)"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"but another side of what? some vagueness here...like a lot of it though"
(more)"Well we could skip right past/ the soul of the matter/ talk about the kids/ something like that/ Or take a chance/ a chance to see (triplets) another side/ But (1/16 note) I’m never gonna change your mind"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"Triplet idea could work! very creative!"
(more)"Well we could skip right past/ the heart of the matter/ talk about the kids/ something like that/ Or take a chance/ a chance to see (triplets) another side/ But (1/16 note) I’m never gonna change your mind"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"this is very coherent in many ways....
phone what in?
and I'd say
Maybe I can take you to the other side
If I'm ever gonna change your mind"
"Well I could waste our time/ talking 'bout the weather/ phone it in/ letting things slide/ Or make my points/ and hope you see another side/ (But) I'm never gonna change your mind"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"Yup. can't use if it doesn't adapt to the flow of the melody...really like "heart of the matter". How can you find a spot for it where it fits?"
(more)"Well I could waste your time/ talking ‘bout the weather/ or get straight to/ the heart of the matter (melody/syllable slip...sorry) whatever you choose/ I hope that you stay my life/ I’m never gonna change your mind"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"LOVE talking bout the weather...how can we not use the word "time" again? it is in our hook and we need to not wear it out! :)"
(more)"Well I could waste your time/talkin' 'bout the weather"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"love this!! simple clear and conversational...."
(more)"Well, i’m never going to change your mind/ So I guess I have to change the way I see"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"some good phrasing here...a little complex---"tried to" is tricky...try singing "I really should have known it from the start"
see how that flows better?
And the last line another option could be
"maybe you can have a change of heart"
again...flow is soooo important especially when you're trying to pitch it to other artists to sing. They always go for the most natural and conversational lyrics..."
"Well I’m never gonna change your mind/ and I’m sorry that I tried to from the start/ Cause I know I want you in my life/ So I’m praying for a change within my heart"
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"this feels like the right rhyme scheme. ABAB. Now try to get the syllables to fit effortlessly on the melody...it's the right amount of syllables but for instance "change the way" is hard to spit out over the melody. LOVE the last line...that has real possibilities."
(more)"Well I’m never gonna change your mind But I’m gonna change the way I see Cause I know I want you in my life Gotta change my mind and let yours be"
Song Stats
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My Lyrics
Beth Nielsen Chapman commented on mwriley2's lyric:
"like the spirit of this one..."
(more)"I’ll spread the news/ shoutin’ from the rooftops/ whisper clues/ all with a smile/ share my views/ certain that it’s all worthwhile/ ……….change your mind (BNC)"